Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Another Key to My Heart

As I sit here today, I think of the people I have met along my life's journey. I have been blessed with some great friendships and have been hurt by some others. Haven't we all? I think as we get older we realize time is precious and so are the people we choose to have in our lives. Everyone is busy with life. But, a true friendship can stand up to the hectic schedules most of us keep. So many of my established relationships are so strong that picking up the phone after days or months of not communicating may lead us right back to the last time we talked without a bump in the road. I am so thankful for those friends. I believe God has a plan we could not begin to imagine or even understand. And He places people in our lives for so many different reasons. Many of you are friends I have met through the adoption process, which is an amazing connection. Some of you I have met while in college, teaching, different neighborhoods, etc. Many of my closest friends have often heard me refer to my "best friend", Mary Kay. But some of you may not know how that friendship came to be or why it happened. Remember when I said God has a plan that we may not know about or comprehend? Well, His work in this friendship was well understood. I taught with Mary Kay in Jacksonville and got to know her as a co-worker until a very important time in her life occurred. She was going about each day in her own busy way like we all do until her emergency brake of life was pulled and everything came to a skidding hault. I felt so drawn to be by her side as she suffered through the loss of McKenzie, her 2 year old daughter. McKenzie died in a very unexpected way when the car window rolled up and choked her. (I share the details of her accident to enlighten some of you who may not even realize deaths occur each year from such an unknown "weapon".) See, God placed me in Mary Kay's life at that time to be a pillar of strength for her. I held her. I helped her hope. I shook her shoulders when she was thinking crazy thoughts. God is awesome and gave me the strength and courage to be there through her 2 years of torture. Because it took about 2 years for her to feel again. It was certainly not something many of us would raise our hands and volunteer for. Watching a mother lose a child is so intense, you cannot describe the pain that is experienced down to every breath taken. Upon my resume of funerals, I had already witnessed 3 other mothers lose their girls. My friend Stephanie died when I was 15 in a car accident. My dear friend Kendyll died in 1993 from a gunshot wound. And was friend Kristie died in 1995, a few months before I got married. As you can see, I may not have raised my hand to be Mary Kay's source of comfort and support, but God drafted me. Looking back, I remember how uncomfortable I felt walking up to the house to see if she needed anything. Then I remember having to drive to the cemetary to find her still by Kenzie's grave site. It took courage to make that move. But I knew that the feeling that led me to her was bigger than anything I may have been scared of doing. God put me in her life and she in mine for that moment. She made it through so much, which I am extremely proud of. Much of it she has no memory, but I do. Through it all, I have never tired of sharing what happened when she asks or giving her details of conversations that took place. That's what a friend does. She sees a need and fills the gap. I never had any expectations of the day when I walked up to her in the cemetary. But man am I thankful to have followed through with what God placed on my heart. God blessed me with a relationship that has endured so many of life's tests. We have made it through Shelby's birth, Brooke's birth (her little girl) and Emma's adoption, among others of life's lessons and events. She is someone I hold so dear to my heart because she allowed me to put hers back together. So now when I mention her name, you will have a face to go along with it as well as a history. You will know that some friendships are meant to last while others crumble. You will understand that God puts us where we need to be when we need to be there. Thanks to all of my friends who have filled the "gaps" for my life when I have needed them filled. Thanks to my best friend, my chosen sister, Mary Kay for allowing me to intervene that day. I love you and am so proud of you. Now go wipe those tears, your make up is running!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bev,
I was so touched by your story today. You have been such a precious friend to her and she was so blessed to have you there with her!Thanks for sharing it! I hope you are having a great week! I have been sick so I haven't talked to Deb about the music. Sorry. Call me sometime!
Shay

Unknown said...

Awesome! I am so glad God placed you in Marykay's life, I'm sure she could not have made it with out you. I also have been blessed to have crossed paths with her and have a wonderful friend because of it! Sherry Smith (Jacksonville)